“This House of Grief” by Helen Garner: Can We Empathise With An Alleged Murderer? (BOOK REVIEW)

Can We Empathise With An Alleged Murderer?

Hey, Alex! What have you been reading lately?

This month, I strayed far from my usual comfort zone of fast-paced fiction and accidentally found myself knee-deep in true crime. Thanks to Dua Lipa’s Service95 book club pick, I came across Helen Garner’s This House of Grief. Because, it seems, August is for sunbathing and reading about mass murder.

I don’t usually go for non-fiction, but something about this book had me curious. Maybe it is the fact that it is based on a true story, or maybe because once I opened it, I found myself locked in trying to uncover the truth.

Tell me more. What is the book about?

This House of Grief follows the real-life trial of Robert Farquharson, who got convicted for murdering his three sons by driving his car into a dam on Father’s Day, 2005.

On paper, the case is horrifying. Rob’s marriage collapses, his wife slips into a new relationship and gets to keep the children, the house, and even the new car. The man with no purpose or dignity has nothing left to lose. On Father’s Day he takes the kids out for a drive. On the way home, his car veers into a dam and all three boys drown. Rob insists he had a coughing fit and blacked out behind the wheel, but few people believe him.

Was this a tragic accident or premeditated murder for revenge? Garner documents every detail inside the courtroom from testimony to evidence to the overall atmosphere and her personal observations. The result is heavy and often slow, but the text doesn’t aim to report the crime; it is trying to accomplish something far greater.

What are some strong and weak points of the book?

If I have to be completely honest, I didn’t get the point of this book at first. It felt long and unintentional, and I wasn’t sure why Garner felt the need to retell this case in such painstaking detail when journalists around her were writing faster, sharper articles.

But in the end, it all clicked. “The children’s fate is our legitimate concern. They are ours to mourn. They belong to all of us now,” Garner writes in the final chapter. This House of Grief isn’t a book about proving innocence or guilt. Garner doesn’t clear Rob, but she doesn’t demonise him either. She positions herself as a silent 13th juror - listening, grieving, and trying to make sense of the impossible. She isn’t writing to position blame; she’s writing to process her own grief that’s been accumulating throughout the trial.

That’s what makes the text so powerful for me. Garner forces you to sit in the raw, messy space of empathy, where you can both pity Rob and mourn for his children, where you can be unsettled by Cindy Gambino, the boys’ mother, who chooses forgiveness over anger because blaming Rob won’t bring her kids back.

In the end, Garner is writing less about murder and more about community: how families, friends, and even strangers in a courtroom process loss and can, hopefully, move on together.

Any final thoughts? Should I read it too?

If you’re a true crime junkie and are looking for your next high-paced thriller with a neat ending and tons of plot twists along the way, then this isn’t the read for you. But if you’re willing to slow down and explore grief, justice, and forgiveness from a deeply human perspective, then This House of Grief is absolutely worth your time. Just be aware that it will leave you unsettled and with more questions than answers really.

Thank you so much!! Are there any similar books that you can recommend?

Absolutely! Here are two books you can check out that also deal with crime and our relationship to it:

🔐 3096 Days by Natascha Kampusch — a gut-wrenching memoir of a girl that got abducted and locked down in a man’s basement for eight years.

🧠 The Anatomy of Motive by John E. Douglas & Mark Olshaker — from the FBI’s own Mindhunters, a breakdown of the psychology behind different violent crimes.

📲 limaistyping…

rating: ☀️☀️☀️
tropes + themes: 🚨 based on a true story | ⚖️ legal drama | 🕵️ investigative journalism | 🏛️ high stakes | 🌆 small town, big news
read if you like: Serial podcast, true crime, court cases, non-fiction
look out for: 🍟 fish and chips place | 😷 cough syncope | 🚗 newer car | 🤔 suspicious forgiveness | 📰 media disapproval
“This book is about finding yourself feeling empathy for the most unlikely people, and wondering whether that’s morally ethical or not.”